I have not a damn clue what I want to do. Not a goddamn clue.
I thought I knew, but talking to more people made me start to question again.
I might want to leave the state for school. I might not want to do forensic (clinical with an emphasis in law) psychology. I might want to do physiological psychology--neuroscience! Behavioral neuroscience?
While researching that new development, I came across the only certified Human Sexuality grad school program in the United States. I was reading over it and I was struck by a feeling of, "Oh my god. This could be FUN."
I want to research. I want to be able to continue my personality theory work. I also want to be an advocate, a teacher. I want to help people, most importantly. How can I make the world a better place?
I'm still pretty sure I don't want to be a therapist.
I was also struck by the amount of fun possibilities for behavioral neuroscience. A couple programs I was looking at would require programming and computer classes. My jack of all trades status could be emphasized there. I would excel.
But am I good enough? My scores are average. Will they look beyond the scores? I know if I can get an interview, I'm in, but will my letters of recommendation make people pay attention to me?
So far, I absolutely know I'm applying to one program:
Widener University's Human Sexuality. I'm thinking about
Rosalind Franklin University's Clinical Psychology,
Boston University's Behavioral Neuroscience, and something at
University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
Trying to figure it out sucks.